Purpose

So the original purpose of this blog was to tell a story, which I have been completely remiss in doing. I've decided to go ahead and pick back up that purpose and throw it against the wall. Let's see what sticks!

So to backpeddle some:  Back in ye olde midwest:

I was trying to decide what to do on a Friday night. Do I volunteer with my friend at a sustainability fair? Do I go out with old friends to catch some drinks and then go dancing? Or do I book it to Nashville to visit a possible love interest of mine... who's a boy (my final test of gayness!)?

I stayed home and volunteered at the sustainability fair. And boy did it pan out! There are moments when the world seems to be resynthesized in a new light that gives you a heightened perspective on things. These moments are so beautiful!

It was a gay person's paradise. Ironically, I saw multiple pairs of attractive gay girls displaying affection publicly and not in groups of other gays, which was really great to see in this day and age. Then I ran into two boys, one whom I had dated and one whom I had had a crush on, who are both clearly gay now and were running around with their partners. I had to tell my straight friend about it - oh it was too funny.

Then I met my friend's sister and went to a tea house that was sensational...

I find that I can be myself and that all I've ever wanted is just sitting in front of my nose in terms of culture and dating. I just have yet to experience it and need to stop putting up excuses or walls for not finding it. Others may venture off to NYC looking for a gay population and trying to become themselves. I am finally realizing that I can come into being right here and that this may be a good way to go about doing it. I am being open with friends and family and expressing my interests. I am not running off to another place where I can hide away, be one of many, or simply let others guide me through this process. Thus, what I am doing in liberating and distinguishing at the same time. I am not stepping into a void, but carving my own path through the world.


Being yourself in the place that you live in and expressing yourself is one of the most beautiful things we can give back to humankind. Gay is not defining. You being as you are and see yourself happy is priceless. I want to be one of those people who is always happy and moreover comfortable with who I am. I now realize that so much of my college years I was not at all fulfilled as a person because I didn't know who I was! Coming to terms with myself as a person, and then myself as a gay has meant so much for me in terms of maturation.



Here is to those who can communicate well with their partners - these are the individuals whose sex lives are the best and whose lives are the best. To those who are open about needs and desires, even when those needs and desires abut cultural norms and how to, well, fuck them.