The other night I had some co-workers over from my workplace and was reminded of how nice it is to work in a place that is gay-friendly.
See, my workplace is quintessentially a gay person’s paradise. At our last company meeting we discussed how we would never come close to praying over meals because everyone at the company is agnostic, atheist, or religious but doesn’t push their religion on others. About half of my friends at work are gay or bisexual and those who aren’t live with or are friends with those who are.
I’d like to think that this homo-friendly workplace is just due to random probability of being gay and open about it in the population, but I’m not sure if that’s correct. Our boss is gay and I think that that therefore ensures support of one’s sexual orientation in the workplace. By no means do gay individuals flock to us, but I have seen my share of cute girls walk through the doors of our workplace
Anyway, the other night at this gathering I was able to dig deep with one of my coworkers and ask him about what it was like to come out to his parents. We had touched on this before but I had never asked him more questions about the circumstance that surrounded his coming out.
He said that he told his parents via letter a month after they asked him about it. He was twenty years old and in college at the time. His parents called him crying when they got the letter. I asked him how emotionally attached he was to the situation: was he ready for it and reasonably put together, or was he still close to them and their feelings? He said a mix of both but that at that time he was prepared for their reaction pretty well.
Still, don’t you think that would hurt? I know anytime my mom cries part of me says “oh geez she’s over-reacting,” but my initial feeling is “damn, I wish she wouldn’t cry!” If only parents could separate themselves from the situation more and think that their raising us a certain way has nothing to do with it…
Apparently my friend Joe’s parents think just that. The father thinks he wasn’t present enough and the mother blames herself for being overbearing. Well if so, then what happened when Joe’s sister and brother turned out “normal?” They are catholic and going through – and pressing on him – the material from http://www.couragerc.net/. What a site! It’s like an exodus.org sort of thing where you go and they can apparently teach you that “gay desires” are wrong. “Gay desires” or “attractions,” as if that’s all it is. My anus!
What Joe and I took away from our little chat was that we should have some sort of available forum or support for young adults who have just come out or are younger and their parents still aren’t okay with it. It’s a reasonable question to ask to friends or a group: at what point do I issue ultimatums to my parents about their involvement in my life but dislike for my partner or my so-called “lifestyle.” It was decided that I think I shouldn’t let my parents into my life until they accept me for who I am in my complete form. I think it’s disrespectful of them to go on like this and not love me as I am.
My mom recently asked me not to facebook friend a family friend because she’d see I was gay. No way! I told her yes, and then just friended her anyway.
I think the deal is this: my parents generation thinks more of it than what it really is to me. To me it’s no biggie.. everyone knows someone who is, and it doesn’t make any difference what people do with whom in their bedrooms so what’s the problema?
This got me to thinking.. how is it that people express themselves and their happiness with life so freely on the street? Some of the biggest butches, most obviously gay girls on planet earth will be walking around and will be just emanating smiles to others. Is it that they are that confident in themselves, their sexual orientation and the state of the world?
I think I should stop focusing on sexual orientation as the source of everyone’s happiness. It’s not about that.. It’s about freedom! I could never be that confident I feel.
I’m moving to LA and await to see the workplace climate there.. I’m sure it’ll be open and think nothing of human sexual orientation. But that’s just my assumption!
