So dating wise, I'm back in the midwest at this point in time and I've been on both match.com and eharmony.com. There are people out there - there is hope! Going out last night makes me realize that they are right under my nose. Perhaps complicating my romantic match-finding problem in a big city is that I often have friends come out with me when go out and may seem unavailable because of that. Should I go out.. alone?
Today was disappointing - I went with a friend midday today to a festival with the hopes of seeing Ken, a guy from my new workplace and he did not show. He's kind of a macho guy who wanted to take his friend to a flower show. Let me stop myself there - what? What two men go to a flower show mid-afternoon? He seems so country, but you know what? - there he goes defying my stereotype of him!
He's someone I clicked with on a physical-attraction level the moment I saw him at work. As he came in at work, he saw me and immediately introduced himself to me before I could get a word in, which I was about to do. He's sweet, calm, charming, and easy going. He has me going, that's for sure.
What I really, really want in life right now is to find someone to just be with and take out to dinner. That is my wish right now. I just need a companion. Part of that equation, on the flip side, is moving out of my parents home. The other part, on my side, involes becoming involved in organizations. As if I have time for that right now!! I'm trying to study for the LSAT, apply to work at kaplan, go out with friends and relax with them before the summer is up. I'm trying to learn spanish and guitar. Write this darn blog. Damn, life is busy!
Above all, I need to apply to graduate school. I know where I want to be and it's not here. This next year will be soooo interesting because it will mean that I will find myself as I, and everyone I've ever known, stares me in the face. Everyone except those who know me best - my college pals.
Anyway, to others out there, maybe you can commiserate. It's been six months since I've had someone to open up to completely. I think my honesty was what got me in hot water then, to tell the truth. Opening up to a vixen like that only spells trouble. But it serves an important point - in my future relationships I know that I have to be completely honest with others at every step of the way. That's the only way to form the basis of a relationship. So I have to know myself and take my shortcomings, as I see them, with a grain of salt and in a light-hearted manner.
For the time being, let me make a toast from the past: here's to living at home, not getting into graduate school, and feeling trapped. Oh yeah, and sans romantic prospects, save Ken. But at the same time, here's to coming off at work with confidence and a full head on my shoulders in the other aspects of my life. People back at college look up to me greatly and I have responsability now that is weightier than any I've seen before. Here's to a journey for me to find myself in the best way possible. It will be uncharted and magnificent. The uncharted is better - way better than what I could sew together with a hand!
